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mcdammit-archive:

How to flirt:

Say smooth suave sexy things like

  • Sit on my penis
  • Touch my penis
  • I wish I were helicase so I could unzip your genes

Do romantic things like:

  • Ask to see a girl’s boobs
  • Shave dollar signs into your pubes
  • Lay your balls on her head while she’s sleeping

(via leafarsajellac)


















































Me saying you are cute and then you saying “no thanks” does not change your physical appearance, it does not change how cute you are. All it does is make me think you’re an asshole, but you’re still a fucking cute asshole.. So nice one.









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